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'To love someone you first need to love yourself'
How many times have you heard this phrase? My mother used to repeat it millions and millions times but excluding the part of 'to love someone'. This may be super super hard for some people and easy for others; and I just want to share my personal experience with you.
I never liked myself. My teeth are separated and, when I was younger, I was afraid of smiling; I didn't want anyone to look at my mouth.
In puberty, my body got bigger and my skin suffered the appearence of ugly and purple stretch marks that I hated with all my soul. It felt like hell going to the pool or looking at my friends' flawless skin. Also in puberty, my face had a terrible break out which made me felt the uglier girl in the whole world.
And please don't forget the most terrible thing -the one I'm still trying to get over-, gain weight. I used to be a skinny girl and everybody used to tell me to eat more. However, puberty showed up and messed with me.
I never liked myself. My teeth are separated and, when I was younger, I was afraid of smiling; I didn't want anyone to look at my mouth.
In puberty, my body got bigger and my skin suffered the appearence of ugly and purple stretch marks that I hated with all my soul. It felt like hell going to the pool or looking at my friends' flawless skin. Also in puberty, my face had a terrible break out which made me felt the uglier girl in the whole world.
And please don't forget the most terrible thing -the one I'm still trying to get over-, gain weight. I used to be a skinny girl and everybody used to tell me to eat more. However, puberty showed up and messed with me.
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Most of us walk through this kind of situations during life and we can't escape them because they're part of life's cycle -besides it's absolutely necessary for our future as adults. But what weights more is how society accepts our changes and this is the reason why we feel unhappy with ourselves.
What killed me most was comparing myself with my friends and the popular girls at school -bear in mind I'm on my last year of high school; why am I talking like a 20-and-so years old?- which made me feel so depressed and ugly.
As any teenager, I had sad thoughts, thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, etc. And I also thought that, if I had a boyfriend, I would feel enough for. But, man, how wrong I was! Being in a relationship of nine months, I can assure you that it's horrible to deal with the feeling of 'he'll make me feel good, loved, enough'. My boyfriend makes me feel that way and I love him very very much but what I mean is, you feel insecure all the time -'what if he finds someone better?' 'what if he's cheating on me?' 'what if he gets tired of me?' 'what if he's with me just because he doesn't know how to break up with me?'- and sometimes you get to the edge of 'it'll better if I break up with him'. That really happened to me but I made a change.
First of all, you don't have to depend on anyone. You're a strong, beautiful and worth woman who knows how to deal with herself. All you need to do is a change because if there's something bothering you, you must take it out of your life.
If you don't like your body, you can go to the gym, yoga classes, go running or walking -you can take a friend with you- and if you don't want to get out of your house, you can look for classes online -I recommend this Youtube channel-
If you have stretch marks, cellulite, varicose veins or any other scar; first remember they're scars of your fights, all you've been through and you should be proud of them instead of hate them. They're part of you at least, a little puzzle piece of the masterpiece -you- buuuuuuut you can do exercise or use some creams to make them look better.
Also if you have pimples or a break out, there are a lot of creams and treatments -also homemade treatments which are healthier-
There's always a solution, don't panic and breath, you can get over it!
What killed me most was comparing myself with my friends and the popular girls at school -bear in mind I'm on my last year of high school; why am I talking like a 20-and-so years old?- which made me feel so depressed and ugly.
As any teenager, I had sad thoughts, thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, etc. And I also thought that, if I had a boyfriend, I would feel enough for. But, man, how wrong I was! Being in a relationship of nine months, I can assure you that it's horrible to deal with the feeling of 'he'll make me feel good, loved, enough'. My boyfriend makes me feel that way and I love him very very much but what I mean is, you feel insecure all the time -'what if he finds someone better?' 'what if he's cheating on me?' 'what if he gets tired of me?' 'what if he's with me just because he doesn't know how to break up with me?'- and sometimes you get to the edge of 'it'll better if I break up with him'. That really happened to me but I made a change.
First of all, you don't have to depend on anyone. You're a strong, beautiful and worth woman who knows how to deal with herself. All you need to do is a change because if there's something bothering you, you must take it out of your life.
If you don't like your body, you can go to the gym, yoga classes, go running or walking -you can take a friend with you- and if you don't want to get out of your house, you can look for classes online -I recommend this Youtube channel-
If you have stretch marks, cellulite, varicose veins or any other scar; first remember they're scars of your fights, all you've been through and you should be proud of them instead of hate them. They're part of you at least, a little puzzle piece of the masterpiece -you- buuuuuuut you can do exercise or use some creams to make them look better.
Also if you have pimples or a break out, there are a lot of creams and treatments -also homemade treatments which are healthier-
There's always a solution, don't panic and breath, you can get over it!
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And always remember this, you're unique and there's no one like you in the whole world. They may look like you but they don't talk, think, dance, sing, laugh, smile, or be like you. You're worth it, darling; if you're on Earth, it's because you have a mission to get done and please, do it because you're very good at solving it. Cheer up my friend, you're young and free, live the life!
'I love myself and I think you should love yourself too' -B.
Goodbye and see you soon!
Cams x
images: We Heart It
